May I find someone who truly loves me, and we shall never part until our hair turns white.
愿得一心人，白头不相离。
Background
This line comes from Zhuo Wenjun's "Song of White Hair," a poem expressing eternal love and fidelity. According to legend, when Zhuo Wenjun's husband Sima Xiangru intended to take a concubine, she composed this poem to express her unwavering loyalty and desire for exclusive love.
Interpretation
This famous line expresses a profound longing for faithful and unwavering love. "May I find someone who truly loves me" reflects the yearning for a soulmate with exclusive emotional devotion; "and we shall never part until our hair turns white" conveys the beautiful wish to spend an entire lifetime with one's beloved until death. It reflects ancient women's pursuit of equal and exclusive love, transcending the feudal practice of polygamy.
Historical & Cultural Background
Historical Context
This poem was composed during the Western Han Dynasty, around the 2nd century BCE. During Emperor Wu of Han's reign, while society was relatively open, patriarchal ideology remained deeply entrenched. Zhuo Wenjun, as a remarkably talented and beautiful woman, dared to break free from feudal ethical constraints by eloping with Sima Xiangru. Later, when her husband's affections wavered, she composed this poem. This historical context highlights the enormous social pressure ancient women faced when pursuing romantic freedom.
Cultural Significance
This famous line has become a classic symbol of faithful love in Chinese culture, widely quoted in literature, film, television, and daily life. It embodies the traditional Chinese virtue of exclusive love and growing old together, forming an essential part of China's romantic culture alongside famous lines like "holding your hand, growing old together." It also symbolizes women's pursuit of independent personality and dignity in love.
Multi-Dimensional Analysis
Philosophical Analysis
Philosophical Analysis
Philosophically, this famous line represents the perfect union of Confucian ethics of "unwavering loyalty" and Daoist concepts of "harmony between heaven and humans" in love. It transcends simple emotional expression, ascending to philosophical heights of independent personality and spiritual freedom. "Someone who truly loves me" implies not only emotional exclusivity but spiritual alignment; "never part until our hair turns white" reflects the pursuit of eternal values against the passage of time and the limitations of mortality.
Modern Application
Modern Application
In contemporary society, this famous line retains significant practical relevance. Beyond being beautiful wedding blessings, it serves as a value guide for modern people pursuing high-quality emotional relationships. Against the backdrop of rising divorce rates and fast-food romance, it reminds people to re-examine the essence of love, pursuing deep spiritual connection rather than superficial passion. It also enlightens modern individuals to maintain independent personalities in love - being devoted yet mutually respectful.
Origin Story
According to "Miscellaneous Records of the Western Capital," Zhuo Wenjun was newly widowed when Sima Xiangru courted her through music. She eloped with him at night, becoming a celebrated love story. Later, when Xiangru wished to take a concubine from Maoling, Wenjun composed "Song of White Hair" to express her determination to leave. Moved by her loyalty and love, Xiangru abandoned his plan. The line "May I find someone who truly loves me, and we shall never part until our hair turns white" became immortalized, not only saving her marriage but becoming a spiritual anchor for true love seekers through the ages.
Historical Impact
This famous line has had profound historical influence. It became an important literary allusion for scholars throughout history to praise faithful love, appearing in classic masterpieces like "Dream of the Red Chamber" and "The Peony Pavilion." During the Ming and Qing dynasties, it served as ideological ammunition against arranged marriages and for marital freedom. In modern times, it has been widely used in wedding blessings and love token inscriptions, becoming synonymous with faithful love in Chinese culture.
Practical Guidance
1. When choosing a partner, prioritize spiritual compatibility over external conditions, seeking a "heart that matches yours" with aligned values and life goals. 2. Maintain exclusivity and loyalty in relationships, building connections based on deep understanding and mutual respect. 3. When facing relationship crises, express your true feelings courageously like Zhuo Wenjun, solving problems through rational and emotional approaches. 4. Treat "growing old together and never part" as a long-term commitment, maintaining relationship warmth through daily thoughtful gestures. 5. While pursuing love, maintain personal independent growth, allowing love to be the union of two complete individuals rather than dependency.
Quote Information
About the Author
Zhuo Wenjun
Western Han
A talented woman from Linqiong in the Western Han Dynasty, daughter of the wealthy merchant Zhuo Wangsun. Renowned for both her beauty and literary talent, she excelled at playing the qin and composing poetry. Famous for her love story with Sima Xiangru, she represents the ideal of talented women in ancient China.
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